The Complete Curse of Throttling

Thanks to a process known as “throttling,” I’ve watched FLIGHTPLAN languish in my Netflix queue since its DVD release on January 24th. You see, until two weeks ago, we were a 3-at-a-time family. And we watched a lot of movies. Therefore, we’re automatically relegated to the back of the waiting list for the more popular titles.

We’ve since downgraded to 1-at-a-time for financial reasons. My in-laws (also Netflix subscribers) have seen the film. So have half my co-workers. So have I, for that matter. But my wife has not, hence its placement in the queue.

Now, at long last, Netflix tells me that the movie was shipped today. There’s only one problem. We’re going to see ICE AGE 2 on Friday, and I’ve never seen the first one. It was actually sitting right under FLIGHTPLAN in the queue, neatly marked as available, just waiting to be mailed. Now, I’ll be walking into a sequel without ever having seen the original. But at least my wife has!

If you listen carefully, that sound you hear like thunder is the sound of heaven’s unbounded laughter at my carefully laid plans.